Gilead: Week 2 — Pages 44-71

Have you had a “dark time” in your life? Or known loneliness that goes deep—all the way deep? “My own dark time, as I call it, the time of my loneliness, was most of my life, as I have said, and I can’t make any real account of myself without speaking of it.” This authentic confession is made on paper to a son our author is already lonely for—a son he may not live to see grow up—a son he wishes he could know and be known by. The phrase, “was most of my life…”

I’ve known loneliness before—our first term in Venezuela, subsequent moves that made me the new one, the outsider. It seems like our pastor, the hero of our book, somehow made peace with his loneliness, learning to live most of his life lonely. That wouldn’t be my first choice! For this husband, father, pastor, friend, the seasons passed, baseball was played and listened to on a radio that sometimes received a strong signal, people came to talk to him and he listened. And, now, in writing this book, it as if he is asking to be listened to—asking for someone to take the time to hear his memories, and understand his heart.

He weaves his thoughts together as if he is showing us the fabric of his life. And, in doing so, he writes of baseball, his grandfather, a seashell, heaven, snippets of sermons and thoughts about communion. He ends this section with these words, “ If you remember me at all, you may find me explained a little by what I’m telling you…I hope you will understand that when I speak of the long night that preceded these days of my happiness, I do not remember grief and loneliness so much as I do peace and comfort—grief but never without comfort; loneliness, but never without peace. Almost never.”

This week, please write about the lonely times in your life and how you lived them—or how you are living them. How would you describe your loneliness—how do you, did you, pass the lonely days? Are you, were you comforted, filled with peace? What helps when we are lonely?

Two last questions for our comments: is there someone you wish you could be known by? How can you share yourself with that person?

I hope you write—I’m looking forward to learning from you.

Gilead: Week 1- Pages 3-43

“I told you last night that I might be gone sometime and you said, Where, and I said, To be with the Lord God, and you said, Why, and I said, Because I’m old, and you said, I don’t think you’re old. And you put your hand in my hand and you said, You aren’t very old, as if that settled it.”

Clear and concise, the first sentence introduces us, the readers, to the world of a pastor who married late and had a little boy. This book is his farewell to his son as well as his way of introducing himself to his boy. He doesn’t want to be forgotten, to not be known. And, that is probably why this book fits my soul. I want to be known, too. Most people do.

How would you pass on a life time of observations and learning to your child if you thought you might not be there to raise the one you love so much? How would I teach about anger, work, and attitudes as well as pass on family history and legends? You might write a book. Like this one that recounts so much while striving to teach, inspire, lead and guide from the grave.
Our story-teller, the pastor, husband, father, friend, seems to skip randomly from subject to subject as he tells bits and pieces his upbringing, his work, his philosophy of life. He tells of traveling in dust-bowl mid-America with his father to find his grandfather’s grave, of marrying young and experiencing death too close and personal. He critiques his sermons, “Sifting my thoughts and choosing my words. Trying to say what was true,” and confesses to cat baptisms and a brother who walked away from family and faith.

I grew up a PK and I raised MKs. I see myself over and over again in these pages—in the poverty, in the scrutiny of the community, of not always knowing how to teach what I want to pass on. I love how Marilynne Robinson writes—spare, clean, eloquent. If I was to grow up and be a writer, I’d like to be just like her.

In our posts this week, let’s share our first impressions of this book—Do you like it? Why? Does it say anything to you? What? I can’t wait to read your responses. And, may I just say—our book club will be as rich as each of us post—it will take all of us to make it great. So, please, post your thoughts—you will enrich us!

Next Book Club starts: Monday, June 7

Book: Gilead, Marilynne Robinson

ORDER @ INKLINGS BOOKSTORE for a 30% Discount: see sidebar for details.

See you back here on June 7. It is a great book. Hope to have you reading with me!

Cries of the Heart: The Cry of God for His People

The surprise ending of this book takes us to the subject Ravi says connects the cry of God’s heart with all the cries of our hearts—Worship. Such a controversial subject—a subject that has divided churches and caused church people to de-church. But, that is the narrow aspect of worship. Worship can enrich every aspect of our lives—every activity, every encounter, every motive, every purpose. Worship can transform our lives and give us tools and means to live our faith well.

Satisfy My Thirsty Soul, by Linda Dillow is a wonderful book on worship. I read it twice last year—I’m a slow but steady learner! One of the important concepts Linda discusses in her book is repeated here in Ravi’s. If we live without authentic worship, if we live with "shoulds" and "oughts" and acts of worship that don’t come from our heart but are preformed robotically, then we become weary in our faith and we lose the joy of our salvation. Ravi teaches that our cries to know God, to feel our faith, to understand and know how to live with suffering, guilt, pleasure and loneliness, are met when we truly meet the cry of God’s heart and worship Him.

As I process this week’s reading, I’m going to be very curious to see if you agree with Ravi in his assertion that worship is the consummate answer to the cries of our heart. He says, “Our cries meet up with the cry of God’s heart for His people—for that is what He seeks for us.” Please blog your response and how it will impact your life with God—your worship of Him.

This is our last week to study this book together. Thank you for making the journey with me. I’ve been challenged by our reading and the Holy Spirit has used Ravi’s writings to help me understand and live my faith in new ways. I hope you’ve been encouraged also. May God richly bless each of us as we learn how to worship Him in deeper ways in each area of our lives!

[Editor's Note: Next book, Gilead, starts June 7. See sidebar for book ordering details (30% discount!) See you in June!]

Cries of the Heart: The Cry of a Lonely Heart

I read this week’s chapter as a woman who has struggled with loneliness in several different settings. Language school was a lonely time as I learned to live in Latin America with my husband and two babies. No one else from our mission was there, and while we built friendships, it seemed we were just getting close and comfortable with a few people when it was time to move to Venezuela. And, once there, I was again lonely.

As missionaries in a declared Catholic town, we weren’t allowed to attend church. Our town was very isolated—people traveled by river or by the expensive, once-a-day flight to the capitol. All strangers were suspect—including Venezuelans from different parts of the country. Over the years we made great friends, but those first years were lonely as my husband was away long hours each day flying for missionaries living in the jungle while I was at home with babies and the HF radio to keep in touch with the pilots with no car, no phone, and no neighbors.

Those early years of loneliness taught me many lessons—lessons I’ve learned a lot more than once! And, now, many years later, we’re on the move again and I’m facing that same loneliness. I miss having familiar faces in my life, knowing my community, living near friends and family. Even as I write this I know we’re moving again—I just don’t know when or where. Life is changing again.

The lessons I’ve learned have been rich, and sometimes, time and place specific. Sometimes the lessons have had to be repeated, but often God has had new things for me to learn. Ravi’s lesson on loneliness includes concepts I’ve never before considered, like, “Our experience of loneliness is universal, and love alone is not the answer. There is a ‘beyond’ in all of us that love does not satisfy.” As I’ve thought about that sentence, I think it explains some of my loneliness.

This may be our deepest chapter to read yet.

I know the concepts tended to fly over my head as I read and I needed soak time to consider if what Ravi wrote made sense to me. With time, I think I’ve come to understand what he is saying. This week, as you write your response on our blog, instead of just responding to what Ravi writes about, would you be willing to write about a lonely episode in your own life and the lessons you learned during that time? We’d find your insights helpful.

And, if you are dealing with loneliness right now, maybe you’d like to pose a question for us. We can prayerfully respond to each other and hopefully be an encouragement to one another.

Cries of the Heart: The Cry for Freedom in Pleasure

Honestly, this isn’t my favorite chapter in our study.

Pleasure seems to be something the church hasn’t known how to deal with or teach—and I’ve been strangely OK with that. I’m a bit of a serious person—maybe that is why I’ve not struggled with pleasure the way I’ve wrestled with pain and suffering. But, taking time to consider where pleasure fits into God’s heart for us is important and worth the time it takes to dig into and honestly think about pleasure.

A question that Ravi poses at the first of this chapter captured my attention. “Is it not also instructive of our bias that society popularly brands all tragedies as ‘acts of God’ but fails to attribute equal credit when we enjoy something good?” At this point, Ravi has my attention because this is an observation I can agree with. He goes on to share 3 principles and 3 applications about pleasure in this chapter. And that is what I’d like us to focus on this week as we read. Please choose one of the principles and one of the applications to write your comments about. It can be that you agree or disagree with him—or you can see ways to apply his points in your life.

I’m looking forward to re-reading this chapter and considering how I can grow in my understanding of pleasure. Your comments will be very instructive and helpful for me—I hope to hear from you!