Caring Without Wearing: Week 3

As I studied my way through this chapter, I found myself day wishing we could be in one room together, practicing and discussing what we are learning. Hopefully, we can each stretch a bit and enjoy a great practice and discussion session. Are you ready?

Carol says our most valuable caring skill is listening. I found this to be a very hopeful concept since I often don’t know what to say or do in difficult circumstances. Her definitions of active listening were helpful—I think my favorite was the simple statement that “listening is the conscious effort to hear.” (pg. 28) And, as I continued my reading, I could immediately think of people with whom I need to practice active listening.

For your comments this week, I’d like to ask that you start by answering question #1 on page 29.

Then, choose one of the ‘A-E’ situations and share your answer with us.

We’ll each need to do questions 4 & 5 on our own. Please share your response to Mary (question 5 on page 33.)

Then, let’s close this week’s time together by sharing our response to questions 8 & 9. My mom is the person for whom I need to grow my listening skills. She is 80, lives far from me, calls often and my role in her life is to fix things—relationships, problems, even her days. I’m praying I can practice more active listening with her.

I’m looking forward to sitting in this chapter this week and learning how to actively listen. Please share your responses with us—let’s grow together!

Caring Without Wearing: Week 2

I’m imagining we have gathered at my house for a fall supper of soup, hearty bread and a yummy pumpkin crisp dessert. Now, we’re sitting around the living room and it’s time to share about our Week Two study from Caring without Wearing. Each one of us has cared for someone this week—we each have hurting people in our lives. We have much in common, much to share.
As you dive into this week’s study, be prepared to be surprised at how much you do to care for others. I sure was! Take time to soak in the scriptures and consider how these truths are lived out in your life.

I just got home from a week spent in Washington where my husband and I moved my aunt who is losing herself from her Seattle condo to an assisted living apartment in Bellingham. I cleaned, sorted, packed, moved and settled, while my husband oversaw painters, carpenters, and carpet layers so her condo can go on the market this week. The actions of my hands served, but my heart loved as I tried to prepare my aunt for the huge, confusing changes. After the work was done, I gave her a tour of her new apartment, hoping she will eventually adjust to her new life. My heart is so sad for the changes I see in her even as I’m glad I was able to help her move into a safer place.

Help is often given in sad situations. For me, the work is less of a burden than the emotions that go with the situations loved ones, needy ones, are facing. Carol’s goal is to help us learn how to care appropriately while also learning how to go the distance and not burn out.

This week’s lesson has so many wonderful questions, but again, we only have space to share a few answers with each other. May I please stress how important your participation is to our progress in growing in this area? Thank you for taking time to share what God is teaching you. We will learn and be changed, too, through the lessons you are learning.

1. In questions 1-7, Carol had us look at several scriptures. What is one take-away lesson you have from this part of our study?

2. The list on page23 revealed surprising results for me. How did you respond to question #10?

3. Now, please share a story from your life for question #12.

4. Choose either question 13 or 14 to answer.

Carol’s story about the healing power of being there reminded me of something Dr. Brent Lindquist, President of Link Care Center (and my boss) recently shared about people in Haiti. He said so many Haitians have nothing to give and yet they have so much to give to each other. They can attend to each other, give the gift of time/presence, and affirm one another’s life/experiences. Simple, amazing treasures we can give when we think have nothing to give.

Caring Without Wearing: Week One

Week one—Welcome to our small group study!

Yes—this book club selection is really a small group study! Carol Travilla’s book, Caring Without Wearing, is going to be a blessing to each one of us as we read and reflect on her wisdom. This selection is a bit different than our past books as it is written as a small group guide. That means, if you are reading this book with us, we are going to need to hear from you. Your participation is going to be so important to the success of our book study and to your ability to really take in what Carol is teaching us.

We won’t be able to take the space on the blog to answer every question Carol presents. I’m hoping to be able to choose the questions we should each answer—so this book study will be a bit more directed than other books have been. I’m looking forward to reading your responses and to learning with you how to care without wearing out.

Questions:

1. Carol suggests that we introduce ourselves and I think that is a great idea. In just a few sentences, please introduce yourself, telling us what you think we should know about you. (I realize there may be security concerns so we won’t press to get information you don’t feel safe to share.)

2. Share one experience when you needed and received care. What did that care look like? List words to describe the kind of care you received.

3. When you read the story of Elizabeth and Mary in Luke 1, what thoughts about their situation inform your idea of caring?

4. Is there a person you are being called to care for? Can you share that person’s name and situation? How can we pray? Please, everyone—take time to pray for these people who need care.

New Book: Starts October 11

The Next Book: Caring without Wearing: The Art of Self-Care While Caring for Others, Carol Travilla

Starts: October 11

Order yours by clicking on the book cover.

From Carol Travilla: "If the terms 'self care' or 'soul care' seem selfish to you, I invite you to engage in this study with other people on a similar journey as yours. Take time to notice in Scripture how Jesus cared for people in need and learn from His great example. My prayer for you is that you will receive His invitation to learn the 'unforced rhythms of grace and live freely and lightly' (Matthew 11:28, The Message)."