Caring without Wearing: Week 8

This is our last week to study Caring without Wearing and this lesson gives us an opportunity to reflect on Carol’s teaching and to decide how we want to incorporate her wisdom into our lives. While each question is important, I’d like us to take time to share our responses to questions 4-12. You don’t have to comment on each of those, but what stands out to you from this set of questions?

What do you take away from the case study about Jim and the one found in Numbers 11: 10-23?

As we close our time of study together, which of the goals on pages 72-73 do you chose to pursue?

One last comment—How does this study impact your life, your choices, your ministry?
Thank you for studying this book with me. I’m very thankful for God’s ability to love the world through us while also loving and caring for us. May we practice caring without wearing.

Editor's Note: Have a great holiday season as you bring "joy to the world"! Join us back here on January 10 when Linda begins the New Year with a new book: In the Presence of My Enemies, by Gracia Burnham. It's the true story of a couple serving cross-culturally who are kidnapped by Filippino rebels. (See sidebar for ordering the book at a discount!)

Caring without Wearing: Week 7

This may be my favorite chapter in this book. Do I say that every week? Carol’s practical insights and helpful suggestions hit the mark for me. As you prayerfully study this week, ask God for understanding into the motivations that drive you.

This morning, a friend wrote these words on her blog: “I’m feeling like I’m out of balance with my personal, work and spiritual life. It seems that at least once a year I come to this place. This place where, even though I didn’t plan it, all the things in my life converge and I try to be in four places at once. Then, I step back, take a look at my lack of exercise, poor eating habits, restless and nightmare-filled sleep and try to rein it all in again.” Do you identify with her words? Well, take heart—this chapter gives us an opportunity to take a “time out” and examine why we get in these places and how we might get out.

Would you please post your answers to questions 7, 8 and 9 this week? Thanks. I’m looking forward to your comments.

Caring without Wearing: Week 6

I work for Link Care Center, a counseling center that serves pastors and missionaries around the world. Many people come to Link Care because they become overwhelmed or burnt out in their work. Self-care hasn’t been on their priority list and they’ve fallen into depression or discouragement because they only cared for others. Learning to have balance in our lives is so important and it is what Carol is writing about in this chapter.

I’m just going to ask you to share your answers to three of this week’s questions: 1,2 and 9. Thank you for taking time to prayerfully consider your answers. May each of us sense how God is teaching us how to better live as care-givers.

Caring without Wearing: Week 5

I love the title of this chapter, “Be Gentle with Yourself.” Do you need that reminder as much as I do? The five expectations that Carol lists in this chapter have all been present in my life at one time or another, though I think the first one has been the most persistent. Carol imagines Jethro encouraging Moses to be gentle with himself. To be realistic about what he can expect from himself, is an admonition I need to hear, too.

As you read this week’s chapter and answer Carol’s questions, please share your responses to question 2, 3, 4 and either 9 or 10. I’ve already started my answers, but I need to stop and pray and let the Holy Spirit search my heart. I want to continue to care for people and be there for them—but I want to take advantage of this study to learn about my motivations and discover if better way will allow me to care without burning out.

I will be praying for you as you prayerfully complete this study with me. I’m looking forward to reading your comments.

Caring without Wearing: Week 4

This week’s chapter, “Common Hindrances to Caring Responses,” wasn’t a real happy read for me. I felt sad as I realized how many times those hindrances had been present in me when I had tried to be caring to those in my life who were hurting. Yikes! I have so much growing to do in this area.

It is really, really easy for me to feel overwhelmed and condemned to bad patterns when I read a book like this. I wonder if I’ll be able to change. Do you? Well, for this week, let’s choose one of the four hindrances and present it to God in prayer and ask Him to help us grow in that area. So, for our sharing comments, please tell us which one you chose and why, and what kind of change you’d like to experience.

Then, since we aren’t able to listen to each other, find someone to listen to. Practice just being quiet while they talk. At the end of a few minutes, reflect back to them, “You seem to be feeling ________.” Then, share with us what that felt like to purpose to be still, listen and reflect.

There is one more step I’d like us to experience if we can. Do you have someone in your life who you could ask to just listen to you? Could someone close to you give you the opportunity to talk, while they listen and then reflect back to you? If you have someone like that, please set up a time this week to practice this listening exercise and share what that was like with us.

I’m looking forward to growing in all four areas Carol writes about in this chapter, but I know I need to start with a bite size step. The first three seem very connected to me—I see themes of me in each one, but I think I’m going to settle on number 3, needing to fix, as my improvement project this week. Since my aunt has moved into the assisted living home and isn’t doing well, and since my mom is trying so hard to help her sister, and since I live far away and can only listen by phone to their woes, I will have plenty of opportunities to work on this.