Honestly, this isn’t my favorite chapter in our study.Pleasure seems to be something the church hasn’t known how to deal with or teach—and I’ve been strangely OK with that. I’m a bit of a serious person—maybe that is why I’ve not struggled with pleasure the way I’ve wrestled with pain and suffering. But, taking time to consider where pleasure fits into God’s heart for us is important and worth the time it takes to dig into and honestly think about pleasure.
A question that Ravi poses at the first of this chapter captured my attention. “Is it not also instructive of our bias that society popularly brands all tragedies as ‘acts of God’ but fails to attribute equal credit when we enjoy something good?” At this point, Ravi has my attention because this is an observation I can agree with. He goes on to share 3 principles and 3 applications about pleasure in this chapter. And that is what I’d like us to focus on this week as we read. Please choose one of the principles and one of the applications to write your comments about. It can be that you agree or disagree with him—or you can see ways to apply his points in your life.
I’m looking forward to re-reading this chapter and considering how I can grow in my understanding of pleasure. Your comments will be very instructive and helpful for me—I hope to hear from you!
5 comments:
On any given day, if someone were to ask me: "What would you do if you had the entire day just to yourself?", my answer would be that I would probably curl up in my favorite chair, cup of coffee and book in hand, and read, read, read. If I got sleepy I would take a nap and then go for a walk on the beach and watch the sun go down. Solitude. I love it. My soul craves it.
As my sole prayer in life is to become like Christ, HE, knowing that if left to myself I would probably become a hermit (or a monk ;)), has blessed my with an amazing husband who could not be any further on the opposite end of the spectrum! If asked the same question, he would say: have a houseful of friends over for a day of fun, food and football! His love for people is beautiful and his life has challenged and sharpened mine more than anyone else I have known.
In this chapter, Ravi puts definition to the struggle that comes up now and then for us in marriage. How do we balance our pleasures when we delight in things that are different? We have come a long way, and continue to learn and grow. This was a good chapter for me.
One principle I particularly liked was the first that Ravi highlights: "Any pleasure that refreshes you without diminishing you, distracting you, or sidetracking you from the ultimate goal is a legitimate pleasure." He later also notes that "We can be sure that the same delights do not enthrall all of us in the same way." Contrary to what I sometimes may feel, watching football on a Sunday afternoon is not a waste of time, but instead can be a source of refreshment (for my husband) after a long, hard week. For me the struggle sometimes is, do I watch it (endure it really:) ) just to enjoy spending time with him, or do something else that brings personal pleasure. (Note: the funny thing is, since we have been living in Haiti for the past 3 years, we haven't even had a TV!) We've talked about getting one here though, so these discussions have come up!
While highlighting another principle on illicit pleasure, Ravi writes: "Often ignoring our children for personal gain or personal ambition strikes in a more sophisticated and subtle form." This also struck a cord with me. My husband and I have both had times when we wished he could just have a 9-5 job, and when he leaves work, he leaves work, if you know what I mean. Missionary life is a 24-7 job and we continue to learn the importance of boundaries in order to protect relationships and cultivate healthy family life. But it certainly is difficult to balance, and it is something we deal with on a daily basis. We realize that the decisions we make each day will become habits, which will then become a lifestyle. Though I am at home with our three kids, it has still been a struggle to deal with the numerous "distractions" you encounter each day while making sure our kids know that they are deeply treasured, enjoyed and first in our lives and ministry.
Lastly, his final application was a tremendous reminder: "God is the source of all good pleasure." Times of pleasure (for me, solitude) will leave us longing for more. This however, is not our reality. We must press on in work and service to our King, so that one day this will be our reality. So that one day, we will be found faithful and live forever in the unfathomable pleasure of his presence.
Well I can't say as I actually got a whole lot out of this chapter. It was read in bits and pieces and a bit rushed since I've got a lot on my plate this week. But I did appreciate his statement "Any pleasure that refreshes you without diminishing you, distracting you, or sidetracking you from the ultimate goal is a legitimate pleasure." It was a good reminder to be careful of how I choose to spend the down time that I do have.
I really appreciated the quote by Susannah Wesley “Whatever weakens your reasoning, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God or takes away your relish for spiritual things; in short, if anything increases the authority and the power of the flesh over the spirit, that to you becomes sin, however good it is in itself.”
Hopefully this next week/chapter I'll have a bit more time and focus as I read.
I also like the quote by Susanna Wesley. It is a good guideline to see if I am on track in what I am doing not just in areas of pleasure but in other areas.
I would say the third principle is one that I need to work on the most. "Any pleasure, however good, if not kept in balance, will distort reality or destroy appetite." It is a principle that I am trying to also teach my children. Sometimes I find myself going to a comfort pleasure when I am stressed such as reading a book or watching a movie. I often have to ask myself if I am doing this to relax or escape. Reading is something I really enjoy but at times I can use it to avoid reality and not deal with the issue at hand. I was also convicted in the last year about how much time I spend in the bible compared to other reading. I want the Bible to be the most read book in my life. Some days I meet that goal and other times I do not which goes back to having a balance. With my children, I am trying to help them develop self discipline in how they use their time. How long should they play on the wii? Or maybe getting outside instead of burying their nose in a book. These are all things I think about and try to help my children with without being too controlling. Thanks Pam, for highlighting the part about children and the 2nd principle. I need to work on that one too.
I really like the 2nd application. "Pleasure is a means not an end. Joy should be the greater end." I liked how he reminded us that true pleasure is tied up in relationships whether with others but ultimately with God. This week I hope to find joy in the little things and not just wait for the extraordinary.
I really appreciate what each of you have written--why is it we don't focus on pleasure as a growth area for us? Is it because we're so busy with "really important" things that we can't take time to grow in how we see the good things in life? Being surrounded by people who are suffering also makes it really hard to take time to "indulge" in pleasure. Years ago, I read John Eldridge's book, Dare to Desire. I learned so much. But, one thing he said really stuck with me. He teaches that when we see something beautiful and we're struck with a desire to "own" it (as in build a house on the hill with the view, buy the beautiful ring, etc...) it is really cause we were created for beauty. I wonder if Ravi would add that we were also created for pleasure--that the garden was our place to learn to enjoy life, work, and relationships. We have many barriers to pleasure now--but as our God takes pleasure in us, we can take pleasure in Him and in the good things He has given us. A friend once told me we should never apologize for what God has given us--we should embrace those gifts proudly as blessings from a Father who dearly loves us. It is hard for me to do that sometimes--but I don't want to be ashamed of what God has given me, I don't want to neglect those gifts or waste them. I want to live with joy--celebrating all the life He allows me to live--the suffering and the pleasure....
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You challenge and encourage me!
I enjoy simple pleasures - time with God, reading a good book, holding a child on my lap during church, spending time chatting with a good friend, watching children laugh and play, examining nature and being in awe of how God makes it all fit together. All these things bring pleasure, but they can get boring or meaningless if I lose my focus on God and my relationship with him.
So, I did appreciate the second application. It seems like many things can give us pleasure, but that is not the end goal. Our goal is to be Joy and that can only come from a relationship with our father and being content in all circumstances. That isn't always easy, but it is when I find myself in that state that I am the most happy.
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