Doctrine and theology take center stage in this longer section, but the real content is relationships—the difficult ones that make us less than we want to be. Those messy relationships are the ones where we respond with less love, forgiveness, grace, mercy and graciousness then we expect. Sometimes, when I’ve been in those awkward places, the walls of my heart have gone up without a conscious thought on my part, and hardness and coldness have crept in where hurt and disappointment were still setting the mood.In this section, we learn why John doesn’t like Jack and why he struggles to forgive him—to trust him. Page 164: “Or say at least that harm to me was probably never a primary object in any of the things he got up to. That one man should lose his child and the next man should just squander his fatherhood as if it were nothing—well, that does not mean the second man has transgressed against the first. I don’t forgive him. I wouldn’t know where to begin.” Now we know why the relationship isn’t working—and we can see the depth of the pain goes incredibly deep. Recognizing his heart’s turmoil, John says without much hope (on page 179), “I do hope to die with a quiet heart. I know that may not be realistic.”
Relationships gone awry do not lend us peace. Our hearts mourn, wrestle, relive, and seek solutions for the differences, the difficulties, the problems our broken relationships present. Like John, we may wrestle and even believe the worst (bottom of page 188). When John wrestles, he finds that what he assumed to be true wasn’t—and he is glad he faced his wretchedness and found that his conclusions weren’t based on reality. “Because now I realize it isn’t true. And that is a great relief to me.”
Have you ever wrestled with ugliness and found buried treasure—truth that surprised you?
Let’s share our stores of God’s redemptive, transformative power in our lives when we post this week. I’m excited to read what you have to share. And—BTW—didn’t you just love his thoughts on persuasion, doctrine, theology? You may not agree with all he said, but, his points are very well made. I appreciate his candor and his authenticity. And, the wisdom in this sentence is something to rejoice in, “If the Lord chooses to make nothing of our transgressions, than they are nothing….”
Lots to ponder there...
5 comments:
During our first couple years on the field, there was a particular boy (age 12) who made it his life's purpose to make my life miserable! Every time I went to the open market, this boy would follow me around, pester, tease, and though he didn't speak English, he knew some choice words! One day he even shoved me, for no apparent reason. I never could figure him out!
This went on for several months, and every time I went to the market I would come home totally exasperated by this boy, and would vent all my frustrations to my husband. One day after venting, I became so convicted over the burning anger I had toward this child. I was reminded of Christ's words that we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. I think I would always skim over that verse, as I never could list anyone I disliked enough to call an "enemy." But now, this boy was at the top of the list. Thankfully, God softened my heart to this boy, and I wondered what terrible abuses one may have suffered to make him so full of rage at just 12 years of age. After asking God to forgive my sinfulness, I hopped on my bike and rode back to the market. I found this boy and asked him his name. We talked a bit and then I asked him if he would like to come over to our house for dinner. His face lit up and a smile stretched from ear to ear, a beautiful smile that I hadn't yet seen before. From that day on, he never bothered me again, and that terrible glare he had when he looked at me was replaced with that smile. We became friends, and he often would stop by our house to visit. (We have since moved to a new town, so I don't see him these days.)
This is a very small, simple story in comparison to the one John tells in these pages. And it was the happenings of a few months, not the course of years and years as it was with John and Jack. There are situations in life that I cannot imagine having to forgive. But I know that God gives the grace to do so for those who seek it. I am reminded that though in and of ourselves, we may feel we don't have the ability to forgive, Christ dwells within us. And it is for him and because of the grace that we received that we can then forgive. And even if it is not what we may wish to do, as an ambassador of Christ we calls us to live as he would live, for his glory.
I love the honestly and humility that John displays in his writing. There is a quote that I particularly likes: "If I had had even an hour to reflect, I believe my feelings would have been quite different." I loved this, and can so much relate. There are so many times that I have found that if I can just practice self-control and reflect before I speak or react, the outcome is much better! For in doing so, truth has the ability to guide my feelings and emotions. This is a wise man. I have marveled at the truth, humility and practicality of so many things he has said. (Then I remember that it is fiction and I marvel at this author!)
Okay... sorry that this post got a bit long. I'm waiting for some more people to post...please!!! Linda-- I just realized we are already nearing the end of this book. What is the start date for the next book?m
Hi, Pam. I checked out your blog--you can check out mine too by clicking on my name here beside this comment. Anyway--it was fun to read a bit more about your life.
I'm at the WOTH retreat right now and Cindy thinks we'll start mid-August As We Forgive--a book I think you'll love.
I like the honesty that John has with himself and his young son. He is dealing with a hard topic and one that is close to his heart, but he is trying to be honest with himself. I like that he seems to regulate himself. When he gets to imagining the harm that Jack can do to his family he says"This is not doing me any good at all. I'd better pray."
I have found that the times when I need to forgive someone I have to do that too. Forgiveness is hard and sometimes I let my imagination and thoughts get going and realize that I am way out of line. I need to stop that line of thinking and just pray. When I get like that it scares me, because I can see how people become bitter because they can't forgive something that happened in a moment. That moment takes over their lives and harms them more than the original offense. John struggles with forgiving Jack, but he is wrestling with it so that he can die with a quiet heart - so he can be at peace and not be bitter towards him.
I enjoyed the doctrine and theology sections too. Not because of what they said, but because they seemed to be something that he tried to live. I think the whole section on his relationship with Jack is him trying to live out what he believes and struggle with how that means he should be treating Jack. Not as a judge, but as on who forgives because he has been forgiven. I do like the way he comes back to that at the end when he acknowledges that God is the judge and makes the quote that Linda made at the end of her post. Our sin is nothing if he has forgiven it. Praise the Lord for that!
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