I don’t like scary movies or adventurous rides at the fair. My life holds plenty of drama and I don’t need anything else to force me to the edge of my chair or to put fear in my stomach. I don’t like being afraid—it is one of my besetting sins—one I often confess. With God’s help, I’m being transformed into someone more courageous—someone who is learning boldness. Still, I don’t know if I could watch a movie of these pages, let alone live them or relive them over and over again. I can’t imagine being Joy—living and reliving her life over and over again…Joy was a little girl when violence broke out and neighbors killed her father and then hunted for her, her sisters and her mother. In that violence, many things broke for each of them, including the neighbors. Joy’s world fell apart—even when she was “safe,” she wasn’t. Her memories were tearing her apart and teaching her hatred, while her orphanage’s lack of food, kindness and its culture of meanness continued to reinforce her conclusions about life, adults, safety, and family.
I have to believe God never left this little girl’s world. The machete and the violence didn’t trample out His church or His people or His Holy Spirit’s power to move people into situations of reconciliation that they could not have imagined. As we read and then comment this week, please tell us where you saw God in Joy’s life—in the lives of the other people who populate her story.
Do you have experiences in your history that mirror what you see in Joy’s life?
What do you think of the steps to forgiveness that are presented in the interlude?
Do you have your own healing path of forgiveness?
Take a look at the questions on page 93. Would you like to answer any of them for us? Your thoughts are important to our discussion—please comment, OK?
4 comments:
I am like you, Linda, it is hard to imagine being Joy. It is hard to imagine the wholesale horror that occured around her. It seems to me that God is with us all the time and he was there with Joy through the time of violence and its aftermath. He saved her and her mother and sisters so many times. He guided her mother to send her and her younger sister to the orphanage. It wasn't the best place, but it was in a safer area. He reunited her with her mother and sisters and gave her an opportunity to go to a good school where people showed the love of God to her. He brought her to a place where she became friends with those whose parents once thought of her as an enemy. He provided for medicine in a rural african hospital where the correct medicine or any medicine is often hard to find. He provided doctors who knew what they were doing to help her get better physically. He brought her to a place where she could forgive and begin really living her life instead of living in the past. This helped her get better spiritually as well as emotionally.
We are all sinners. We all need forgiveness. I thank the Lord that he has made a way for us to receive it. I thank the Lord for the examples we have seen in this book of forgiveness that has brought peace and healing. It seems so very hard when such a terrible wrong has occured. It doesn't seem fair to just let someone off the hook for these crimes. And yet... God did just that for us. The things I need to forgive people for seem so small and insignificant in light of these stories, but it still needs to be done. It brings my sin more clearly into focus when I think about Jesus dying for me - a sinner just like these mass murderers and makes it just a little easier to try to be like him. To forgive is an act of our will just like to love is an act of our will. It is hard, but so worth it in the end!
After the earthquake here in Haiti, our friends and neighbors were all saying: "Bondye pa renmen Ayiti." (God doesn't like Haiti) And though I know that is the furthest thing from the truth, I can’t blame them for feeling like that. From its beginnings as a slave colony, the people of Haiti have suffered and endured unimaginable tragedy, abuse and injustice.
I can only imagine the people of Rwanda were experiencing similar sentiments. GOD, WHERE ARE YOU? How do we see Him in Joy's life? I believe He was there. There offering Himself. For who better to understand their pain and suffering than He who endured the pain and suffering of the cross. Who better to comfort than the Father who watched his own son as he was crushed under the weight of the sins of mankind. Who better to lead us in forgiveness than He who has forgiven much.
I cannot imagine forgiving such offenders. Cannot imagine the pain, the grief, the throbbing heartache of such horrific loss. But I know that Christ can provide the grace and strength to do so.
I like what the author noted in the interlude that: "If the offender fails to repent, he or she has failed to receive the gift. The gift has been stopped midway." It seems to me that if the offender seeks forgiveness, and forgiveness is given, though there is still pain, peace can be found by both parties. However, in the event of the offender failing to recognize or care about their sin and need for forgiveness, how does the victim find peace, and closure? How does reconciliation take place for that person, the victim? These are questions I have been pondering. Any thoughts?
Lynn and Pam, I really appreciate the insights you share here. Both of you really point us to God. And, without Him we wouldn't be able to forgive, be forgiven, heal and find renewal or restoration.
Pam, you ask really good questions. I think there is probably a spiritual act that brings healing when forgiveness is given to someone who hasn't asked for it because it is given to honor God and obey him. We are to forgive even as we are forgiven--the Lord's prayer. (We also learn more about forgiveness in Matt 6:14, Matt 18:21-35) It seems impossible to me, really, which puts it right into the God only category. Without Him it is impossible to forgive the unforgiveable and the unrepantant. And without Him, I don't believe the healing we need will never come.
My family was incredibly hurt by someone who never asked forgiveness. I feel we are on a healing journey, but I don't know if we have closure as we are still becoming healed and whole. Memories can still wound, what ifs can sometimes still haunt me. What we have and what we should have had are very different. And, I still sometimes mourn what could have been. In my heart I have forgiven, but I still find myself sometimes needing to forgive. At those times, I can only forgive through prayer for help. God gives the help and brings comfort while I weep. Closure--I'm not there yet, but I have forgiven, and I am being healed. What a great God we serve!
I really appreciated the story about John who lost his niece. Not waiting for the pain to be over to forgive is a powerful concept.
It's probably the area of forgiveness that I struggle with the most. What about when people are not repentant? Or they never have to "pay for their crimes". And yet I have been wounded. How do I forgive as Jesus did. While the pain is still fresh?
I know that reading stories like John's definitely help me as I struggle with these concepts.
I thought that the REACH concept was a good one. So often as we struggle in our pain we can only think about ourselves. In some ways I think the only way I can forgive is to put myself into the shoes of the person who did the harm. As difficult as it is, it does in fact help a bit.
Pam, as you mentioned the people of Haiti feeling like God must not like them it struck me. I have never doubted God's power, but at times I have doubted His goodness or desire for good for His people. Sometimes the only comfort I hold to is knowing that now we "see through a glass darkly". That the day will come when all will be made clear. But for now I will continue to struggle and continue to trust at the same time.
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