Jesus knew incredible, real, physical pain causing grief—the kind that rips you on the inside so you sweat drops of blood. The people in Rwanda knew this kind of grief, too. For so many reasons, grief glazed over eyes and built walls around hearts. Monique’s story stands out for the terror she experienced for herself, her husband and her four children. I can’t imagine being able to contain my fear if I would have been in her place, living her suspense, horror filled drama.The heart of darkness is introduced in these pages as one of this book’s themes. Evil seeks to rob us of hope, faith and love. Have you ever lived with a fear that robbed you of these life essentials? What does fear do to you today? Are you impacted by fear? What does that look like—where does it show up? And, more importantly, how do you deal with fear so that its evil doesn’t rob you?
Life has taught us many lessons about grief, fear, evil—our relationship with God has brought us faith, hope, trust, and love. A question for me to consider this week is where do I live—in fear and grief with evil robbing me, or with hope, faith, trust and love.
Like always, I look forward to reading your comments. Please take time to post your thoughts!
4 comments:
"Are you impacted by fear?"
If you had asked me this a week ago, my answer would have probably been no, not really. After the events of this past week however, I have been rethinking fear.
I haven't been feeling well this week. After one long day of headaches, nausea, and tingling in my legs and arms, we had to rush me in to the UN base here to consult with their medical team. I was having difficulty breathing, my heart was racing and I felt as if my body was shutting down. I've never experienced anything like it, and I have been okay since. The doctor thought that the problems I was having were brought on by an anxiety attack. What? I was completely shocked, and a bit skeptical of the diagnosis. I have never had anything like it. When I stopped to ponder this, though and read more about what an anxiety attack could look like, I thought, well maybe it was?
If so, I am amazed at what anxiety can do to a person, and the physical affects in can have on a person. I'm usually pretty laid back, and not stressed much. However, I have been dealing with some chronic pain that has intensified as of late, and we do not yet know what is causing the pain. I can see how all of this is contributing to fear and stress.
So goes this week, and I have been pondering fear. Perhaps the thing I fear the most is myself. This heart of mine, prone to wander, prone to sin. I fear messing up. I fear failing my kids, my family, my Lord. I read this quote this week by Ann Voskamp (aholyexperience.com), and was encouraged by it: "It's only pride's hunger for perfection that paralyzes a heart, keeps us enslaved to fear...Slip on humility, make humility the mainstay of the heart's wardrobe, and the world enlarges...Because if I wear humility, I'm not afraid of the falling." I like that.
I know this kind of fear is world's apart from the fear that is written about in this book. Fear that results from unimaginable evil, pain and trauma. But the commonality in all types of fear is that it is powerful. It has the power to paralyze us, to choke the life right out of us. I am so thankful for the peace that can be found in our sovereign Lord. For in His perfect love, every fear, great or small, can be driven out. I am still learning...
I am so sorry, Pam, for the physical issues you've been having. With your young family, you probably don't get a lot of down time to rest and be refreshed. I appreciate how you are processing what might be fear and anxiety. You are allowing the Holy Spirit to search your heart and reveal truth to you. I believe He will and that He can heal you as well as teach you how to live with this challenge. I'm still learning, too, how to appropriate all God gives us when fear or anxiety seem a very rational response to what we're going through.
Lord I want to lift Pam up to you. I ask that you would walk with her through this time of life. That she would sense your presence in a very real way as never before. Thank you for the work you have started in her life and the way that you are using her.
Linda and Michelle-
Thank you both for your encouragement this week. God has used each book that we have read thus far to speak to me in very clear ways, at such appropriate times. It has been so neat to see.
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