As We Forgive: Week 6 -- pages 189-231

If you watched me read this book, you would see mixture of expressions—disbelief at the horror, incredulity at the forgiveness, amazement at the redemption. This section had it all—but with amazing courage thrown in.

As we read these pages, we’re introduced to young people who will be confronted with terror, torture and death. We read of their baby steps towards recovery after the killings, and then of the renewed killing that demands courage beyond what I’ve ever had to practice. These kids are heroes! I have so much to learn from them.

After the violence, through God’s call on his life, one of the young men, Phanuel, becomes an ambassador of reconciliation. He often talks to large groups, and young people are his favorite audience. Part of his message to them would be a message fit for anyone who has suffered something that seems unforgiveable. He says, “We must find a way to forgive. I stand before you today as someone who has personally wrestled with this…. The only way that I’ve found, the only way I know to tell you, is through Jesus Christ. Beaten, mocked, despised, tortured, Christ in his final words here on earth called out, pleading for God to forgive the perpetrators. He was pleading for the forgiveness of you, of me, of the people who have hurt our families and our friends…” (Page 223) This powerful passage reminds me that in Christ the unforgiveable sin is forgivable because He already forgave.

I think you will find the reflective passage very helpful. The author shares how “growing empathy, seeing another person in a larger context, rehearsing positive traits, increasing positive interactions and decreasing negative ones, cultivating cultures and characters of forgiveness, and making meaning together to restore relationships can work to maintain the reconciled relationships we have worked so hard to build.” (Page 231) Personally, I find great hope in these well-thought out tools.

As we post this week—and yes, I really want you to post—we need your thoughts, please reflect on your forgiveness journey. Have you ever forgiven an unforgivable? Have you been able to build any kind of relationship with someone who hurt you or those you love? What did that look like? I look forward to reading your posts!

As We Forgive: Week 5 -- Pages 163 - 188

This section opens with the chapter, “Snakes in the Grass,” which has so many meanings. I read this phrase and I think danger—the kind that lurks, sneaks, hides but is determined to hurt, maim or destroy. We talk about bad people being snakes in the grass—hidden, yet threatening our world with their dark plans for destruction or greed. We hunt for snakes in the grass—we want to flush them out and kill them. In this book, the victims are hiding like snakes in the grass while their tormentors are the real snakes in the grass.

As I read today’s news, a little boy has been taken from his school in Portland OR—I would have to guess by a real snake in the grass. If that person is ever found and goes to jail, it will be hard for me, and for most people I guess, to take that label off of him and trust him out in society once he has paid for his crime. We want to know when a sex offender lives in our neighborhoods. We want parole officers to do their job and keep criminals from repeating their crimes—while we never let them forget that they owe us big time. Their debt to society may never be paid because they will always be known by what they did—how they behaved badly—how they brought evil into someone’s life.

In this book, though, I’m confronted over and over again with a different kind of response to evil. Real repentance! Real forgiveness! Sometimes one comes first and then the other follows. But, not always. Devota’s incredibly story is told in this section. We learn of her amazing strength and God’s amazing care for her even as her two children are killed. And, in Devota, we learn new lessons of forgiveness and healing. As she extends grace and mercy with forgiveness, men who killed respond with questions: “How can this be when we behaved like such animals?” “Who are these people?” when Devota told them people were ready to forgive. And, others simply saying, “Thank you, thank you. God is merciful.”

I am thankful this section ends with some very practical steps to facilitating healing and forgiveness. I’m wondering if we can post about those steps this week.

• Have you ever practiced any of them?
• What were your results? Which ones look feasible to you?
• Do you know of situations where you could apply these steps?

Please share your experiences of reconciliation with us this week.

As We Forgive: Week 4--Pages 132 - 162

Jesus knew incredible, real, physical pain causing grief—the kind that rips you on the inside so you sweat drops of blood. The people in Rwanda knew this kind of grief, too. For so many reasons, grief glazed over eyes and built walls around hearts. Monique’s story stands out for the terror she experienced for herself, her husband and her four children. I can’t imagine being able to contain my fear if I would have been in her place, living her suspense, horror filled drama.

The heart of darkness is introduced in these pages as one of this book’s themes. Evil seeks to rob us of hope, faith and love. Have you ever lived with a fear that robbed you of these life essentials? What does fear do to you today? Are you impacted by fear? What does that look like—where does it show up? And, more importantly, how do you deal with fear so that its evil doesn’t rob you?

Life has taught us many lessons about grief, fear, evil—our relationship with God has brought us faith, hope, trust, and love. A question for me to consider this week is where do I live—in fear and grief with evil robbing me, or with hope, faith, trust and love.

Like always, I look forward to reading your comments. Please take time to post your thoughts!

As We Forgive: Week 3--Pages 94 - 131

Chantel’s story starts with a celebration. Wearing a new white dress her father had given her for her Confirmation and First Communion, she whirls on the hillside with her father watching her dance. The dress and her world spin around her and joy in the moment and beauty of the day take her breath away. To make her day completely special, John, a Hutu neighbor, was hosting a party in her honor. It was unthinkable that John--a man her father drank beers with--would one day brutally kill the man he stood with that day while they both enjoyed a little girl’s joy spilling over into dance.

This story is so sad—I struggle to understand how neighbors can enjoy meals together and then kill each other. It is also amazing to me how thorough the brainwashing was that somehow made it OK. John felt great guilt at killing Chantel’s father, and hid so he’d never be forced to kill someone else. But it wasn’t till the preachers began to come to the prison that John understood the depth of the evil he had done(page111). Crying out to God for forgiveness, he wondered if Chantell would ever be able to forgive him.

These pages tell the story of transformation—change that took these very real people into a hell we can’t imagine, and then brought them out again. They also tell the story of Pascal—a man God called to the mission of forgiveness and reconciliation. It is amazing what God was able to do through this faithful and obedient man. We’ve seen people like him in the preceding pages and more will come later in the book.

But, what I want to stress right now is that God used a very humble man to do incredible things for Him; however, the path was extremely hard. Who in their right mind would have accepted this assignment, moved their family to such a troubled nation, and walked into prisons and talked to people who had skinned their neighbors, raped their friends, brutally murdered children. Pascal. Amazing.

Can you identify in some way with Pascal?

Is God asking you to do something hard right now? Or, has He in the past?

Do you see how He is using you in a very ugly setting?

Let’s tell those stories this week as we post. Not to brag, or to be proud—but to rejoice that God invites us to partner with Him in His redemption/transforming work in this world.

As We Forgive: Week 2--Page 60-93

I don’t like scary movies or adventurous rides at the fair. My life holds plenty of drama and I don’t need anything else to force me to the edge of my chair or to put fear in my stomach. I don’t like being afraid—it is one of my besetting sins—one I often confess. With God’s help, I’m being transformed into someone more courageous—someone who is learning boldness. Still, I don’t know if I could watch a movie of these pages, let alone live them or relive them over and over again. I can’t imagine being Joy—living and reliving her life over and over again…

Joy was a little girl when violence broke out and neighbors killed her father and then hunted for her, her sisters and her mother. In that violence, many things broke for each of them, including the neighbors. Joy’s world fell apart—even when she was “safe,” she wasn’t. Her memories were tearing her apart and teaching her hatred, while her orphanage’s lack of food, kindness and its culture of meanness continued to reinforce her conclusions about life, adults, safety, and family.

I have to believe God never left this little girl’s world. The machete and the violence didn’t trample out His church or His people or His Holy Spirit’s power to move people into situations of reconciliation that they could not have imagined. As we read and then comment this week, please tell us where you saw God in Joy’s life—in the lives of the other people who populate her story.

Do you have experiences in your history that mirror what you see in Joy’s life?

What do you think of the steps to forgiveness that are presented in the interlude?

Do you have your own healing path of forgiveness?

Take a look at the questions on page 93. Would you like to answer any of them for us? Your thoughts are important to our discussion—please comment, OK?

As We Forgive: Week One--Pages 9-59

As We Forgive by Catherine Claire Larson

Welcome to the WOTH Book Club Blog. I’m so glad you are reading As We Forgive with us. I hope that each one who reads with us will take time to invest in this group by commenting each week. We will be a better book club because of the insights and lessons you share. May I please urge you to comment? The comments that were made during our last read really encouraged me and taught me to see things I would have missed on my own. Plus, I loved that we could pray for each other as we talked about different topics the book brought up. So, again—please share yourself with this book club. We’ll be better because of you! (If you have any trouble commenting, please email Cindy at: editor@womenoftheharvest.com)

This isn’t a light read—it isn’t a book you want to lull you to sleep at night. If you read it right before bed, your dreams may be filled with images too horrible to imagine as you read the words in black and white. This is an important read, though. It shows us the horror that people just like you and me faced when neighbors and friends became fearful enemies and family members were killed with violence we really can’t fathom. What makes this book important for us to read, though, are the redemption stories of forgiveness, mercy and grace that transform those who suffered from this violence—both those who held the machetes and those who saw their lives destroyed from that sharp blade’s destruction.

I first read this book over a year ago and could hardly put it down as the stories captured my heart with their incredible sadness and the amazing hope they offered. Now, reading it for the second time, I’m compelled to read it with more respect—the first rush read has been replaced with a solemn pace—and I have to take breaks away from the intense emotions these pages bring to my heart.

As I read, I’m pondering forgiveness in a whole new light—a light that shines where you would think it could never, ever in a million years shine. It shines from the mother, widow, dad, and son. It shines from the ones forgiven—and the ones facilitating the process. I’m reading this book in early June, when the oil spill has passed people’s patience limit and hateful words are spewing thicker than the oil is coating the marshlands. I’m reading while people are irate about what just happened in Gaza with the relief flotilla that was stopped by Israel. N Korea is making threats of war, the war on terror is still droning on producing more people who will have reasons to hate. Forgiveness in this world seems like a lost ideal. But, the people of Rwanda offer hope that from the darkest of evil, relationships can be reconciled through forgiveness, mercy and grace.

This book will teach us about forgiveness. And, my hope is that we’ll learn how to offer, practice, and receive it in new, deeper ways. I really can’t say, “Happy reading.” This just isn’t that kind of book. But, I do welcome you to this study. I believe our lives will be forever changed if we’re willing to learn new lessons in forgiveness from people who had so much to forgive—so much to be forgiven.

For our first week, please read pages 9-59. You’ll find questions for reflection on page 59 and you may want to comment on one or more of them. Or, you may have your own response to this chapter. I look forward to reading your thoughts!